VD

Well.. it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.

I'll be listening for the sound of relationships crashing and burning all over the world. Negative, eh? I know. But y'all know I'm right, don't ya?

You have to get her the perfect gift or she'll dump you (oh if only). More than likely she'll pout and be bitchy until you ask her why and then she'll tell you that you screwed up Valentine's Day. Or maybe she'll just tell you that you already know why she's mad. Or that if you loved her, you'd know why she's mad.

She won't say anything at the time.. or beforehand.. when it'd be the most helpful. You won't know that flowers aren't good enough (and really.. they wither and die.. so no. Not good AND on top of that you spent a huge wad on something that won't even last a week. Plain silly.).

That's right. You won't know until afterwards that the standard V-Day gifts are played and useless and can often be taken as insults.

If you take her to a crowded restaurant and have to wait a little too long for seating, you'll have screwed up Valentine's Day. Same thing if you take her to a movie and everyone and his brother had the same idea which leads to poor seating options or perhaps a noisy bunch of morons. RUINED I TELL YOU!

Substitute HIM for HER in any of the above and maybe you'll have the same problem. Having screwed up Valentine's Day. Not that men want flowers. I think most men could really give a crap about Valentine's Day. You're likely all set with merely a card or a wish.

Women should really look into that, by the way. Lives all over the world would improve... relationships, too.

What is a good gift then?

You know your honey better than I do. What do they like? Have they pointed out stuff that they wish they had the cash to buy? Do you even pay attention? And yes... I'm asking the women-folk that too.

There's no rule that says you have to get something done-to-death and probably not romantic as a gift. Getting something you already know they want works too. Know why? It shows that you freaking listened to them.

Hand me some stupid little stuffed animal saying "be mine" and I'll probably hand it back to you explaining to your ass that I already AM YOURS. Same with flowers since I'm allergic anyway.. even if I liked flowers, I couldn't take them.

I think I do a similar rant every year...