Libra (September 23-October 22)
Your assignment is to precisely identify every last one of your complexes, syndromes, and maladies. Towards that end, buy a copy of the 943-page book Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and read it from beginning to end. APRIL FOOL! Don't you know me any better than that? I would NEVER encourage you to obsess on your pain. Here's your real horoscope: Start writing your own version of the book How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People. It's high time you learned how to work your ass off to feel really good.
Is it weird that until I got to the part that told me that the 943-page book was a joke, that it actually sounded like good reading to me?
I know it's definitely sad that I'd much prefer to do the joke part of the horoscope. Not because I'm into my own pain or whatever, but because I wouldn't EVER want to write a How to Be Happy book. Not only haven't I the got one iota of a clue about how to make choices that'll lead to me being happy, but I don't even think I know anyone else who knows how do make those choices. I'm not even sure I know anyone who is happy... unless they're happy being all jaded and cynical. That's valid, right? Because I think I can get behind that!
Totally! Cynicism is just like happiness, but with less teeth showing when we smile.
ReplyDeleteI do so like to be cynical. Weirdly, it gives me a happy glow. I dunno why that is, however.
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